Boats, Beers & Bad Turns: Canal Boat Watching in Amsterdam

On a sunny afternoon in Amsterdam, while most people were out cycling, exploring museums or cruising along the canals, my husband and I found ourselves deep into a far more pressing cultural investigation… Canal Boat Watching: Which canal boats can actually turn a corner without causing a scene?

Armed with nothing but a table at a corner bar, STRO Brasserie, a few rounds of drinks and an unobstructed view of a particularly tight canal junction, we set ourselves up for three hours of serious (but hilarious) people watching meets boat judging. And trust me… the more we drank, the more we became better boat drivers!!!

And let me tell you—it did not disappoint.

We picked a canal side bar perched perfectly at a bend where the boats had to make a tight turn. Think of it as Amsterdam’s unofficial Grand Prix hairpin turn… minus the engines, plus the occasional shouting in Dutch or English from us LOL. The setup was ideal.

Cold drinks? Check.

Prime view of the corner? Check.

Unlimited entertainment? Absolutely.

As the boats came through, we started casually rating their turning skills. What started as fun commentary quickly evolved into a full blown system:

• 10/10 – “Captain of the Year”: Seamless, fluid turn. Barely a ripple. Probably a local. (100% Blue Boats was the winner!!!)

• 7-9/10 – “Smooth Operator”: Minor corrections, good awareness. Bonus points if they waved at us.

• 4-6/10 – “We’ve Got a Floater”: A few bumps, some back and forth, mild panic in the captain’s eyes.

• 1-3/10 – “Should’ve Stayed on Land”: Three point turn, almost hit the wall, passengers pretending nothing’s wrong.

• 0/10 – “Where’s the Insurance?”: Chaos. Boat hits something. Someone yells. Drinks are spilled.

Naturally, we started keeping a tally.

In just three hours, we witnessed:

• A small electric boat operated by what looked like a bunch of uni students execute the cleanest turn of the day. We gave them a 10/10 and a standing ovation (they waved back).

• A massive tourist canal cruiser that somehow glided around the corner like a ballerina in a tutu—graceful, unexpected and impressive… again Blue Boat for the win!!!

• A couple in a rental boat who had clearly never driven anything in their lives. They didn’t turn, they were trying to go in the opposite direction to everyone else…. they tried for nearly five minutes, eventually they went back the same way they came from LOL

Sure, the Rijksmuseum is incredible. And yes, a canal cruise is a must do. But honestly? Sitting canal side, Beer and Wine in hand, rating boats on their turning circle is top tier travel joy. It’s slow tourism at its best: absorbing the everyday rhythms of a city, laughing at the chaos and witnessing moments you couldn’t possibly plan. Trust me, we weren’t the only doing this!!!

Plus, there’s something very Dutch about the whole thing… blending practicality, humour and boats all in one place.

• Find a corner spot on a lively canal… ideally one with tight turns or boat rental return areas.

• Go mid to late afternoon, when traffic is busiest and drinks are flowing.

• Make a scoring sheet (or just use napkins and scribble—it adds to the charm).

• Bonus fun: Create “categories” like Best Boat Name, Worst Turn, Most Dramatic Passenger, etc.

Some people go to Amsterdam to visit the Anne Frank House. Others come for tulips, cheese, and cycling tours. But us? We came, we drank, and we judged the boats… and it was glorious.

Next time you’re in Amsterdam, find a canal side perch and see for yourself. The city flows at its own pace, and sometimes, that pace involves someone wildly misjudging a turn in a rental boat while you cheer from the sidelines.

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